CityLife WELLBEING | Life Can Be Tough… But So Are You


Life Can Be Tough… But So Are You
Violetta Sekler

Violetta Sekler is a Personal and Relationship Coach driven to help people succeed in life and love.


Times of adversity can be our most transformative moments in life. Just like a butterfly emerges from a cocoon into a beautiful new state of being, so too do humans once they’ve pushed through the struggles and barriers that adversity puts in front of them.

I know many of you are going through varying tough times in your life at present, they might not be financial, they may be with your family or relationships, or they could be with yourself. One thing that the past 16 months has taught us is tough times are ever-present for all of us, but it is how we react and deal with them that gives us the greatest power of all – to grow and learn.

When you’re traveling through a tough journey in life it is hard to see it when you are experiencing it as the emotions can feel so raw, but always take comfort in knowing that it is not forever, circumstances change, economies grow again, people’s hearts heal, disputes resolve, grief eases, and for the most part we can come out of tough times stronger than when we went into them. We just for a moment need to bring ourselves to the realization of what the situation truly is … a moment in time that is to be honoured, respected and cherished, even in all its pain.

Here are some tips on moving through tough times and allowing yourself to cope with obstacles when they are thrown at you:

1. Invest in quality relationships
Quality relationships with family and friends determine, to a significant extent, the quality of our lives. Welcome people into your life who value what you have to give and make sure they know that you appreciate them.

2. Get to know yourself
Get to know your strengths and weaknesses. But most importantly get to know what makes your heart sing and do more of that.

3. Deal with your past
We all carry emotional injuries and traumas of the past which tend to build up to unhealthy levels when we do not work through their impact on us. The impact of these past events can increase when we are overwhelmed by new events, or just by daily pressures and stresses if we have not dealt with them.

4. Focus on the positives
Actively try to notice what is going right in your day, and be grateful for the little positives that arise along the way. This doesn’t mean shutting out the negatives and not dealing with them, but rather choosing where to focus the majority of your attention.

5. Be present
Concentrate on the here and now. When unconsciously thinking about past events or the fear of what might happen in the future, try to stop yourself and focus on your breath instead. Breathing deeply and slowly for 5-10 breaths can sometimes be all it takes to shift you back into the present moment.

6. Be hopeful
No matter how dreadful a situation may be, there is always hope. It’s just finding that hope in amongst the negative noise. Choosing hope after a difficult setback shifts us from broken-heartedness to whole-heartedness.

7. Take charge of your health
Remember the acronym ‘MEDS’:
• Meditation – find somewhere to practise being calm each day
• Exercise – try to incorporate 30 minutes of physical activity every day
• Diet – be mindful of what food is fuelling your body
• Sleep – good quality sleep is one of the most powerful ways to reduce stress while increasing energy, memory and learning.

8. Find your happy place
Connect with a group of like-minded people to uplift your spirits when you’re feeling down. For some people, belonging to their family or a tight group of friends is the answer, while others find their belonging is centred on particular locations, teams, workplaces, hobbies, beliefs or causes.

9. Be Kind To Yourself
Some people treat others well but are harshly self-critical to the point of making themselves feel useless. We all make mistakes, so be kind to yourself.

And remember, life can be tough… but so are you!